Now I lay me down to sleep I pray this pager does not beep Please no risky extubations Please no lengthy explanations Please no 4AM calls for c/section Please no swallowed razors in corrections In this county, please no riots Keep all the guns locked up and quiet Keep the drunks out of their cars Keep rabble-rousers behind bars Keep all jigsaws out of hands Keep all the Nattys in their cans Keep all the rusty knives in blocks Let all the crack stay formed in rocks Let all the brains stay mass effectless Give all the semi-urgents breakfast Let every epidural work Let no vascular disasters lurk Let nobody’s water break Let nobody’s RLQ ache Let me not hear that timeout bell Let not one fetus have decels Let no heart failure be end stage — Beep beep beep... “This is anesthesia, returning a page...” Jody C. Leng, M.D., M.S.* * Stanford Hospital, Stanford, California. cimbalo@stanfordalumni.org ...