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An Anesthesia Resident’s Prayer

 

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray this pager does not beep
Please no risky extubations
Please no lengthy explanations
Please no 4AM calls for c/section
Please no swallowed razors in corrections
In this county, please no riots
Keep all the guns locked up and quiet
Keep the drunks out of their cars
Keep rabble-rousers behind bars
Keep all jigsaws out of hands
Keep all the Nattys in their cans
Keep all the rusty knives in blocks
Let all the crack stay formed in rocks
Let all the brains stay mass effectless
Give all the semi-urgents breakfast
Let every epidural work
Let no vascular disasters lurk
Let nobody’s water break
Let nobody’s RLQ ache
Let me not hear that timeout bell
Let not one fetus have decels
Let no heart failure be end stage —
Beep beep beep...
“This is anesthesia, returning a page...”

Jody C. Leng, M.D., M.S.*
     * Stanford Hospital, Stanford, California. cimbalo@stanfordalumni.org
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